SEND policy and practice: when support looks right on paper but feels different in real life

Many families begin their SEND journey with trust.

They read the policies.

They attend meetings.

They believe that, with the right plans and processes in place, their child will be supported.

On paper, SEND policy is grounded in the right intentions. Inclusion. Equity. High aspirations. The idea is that every child should be able to access education in a way that works for them.

But for many families and education professionals, the lived experience can feel very different.

Through my recent Master’s research, and through years of practice, I’ve spent time listening to families and learners talk about how SEND policy and practice often diverge when support doesn’t match need. What comes through again and again is not a lack of care or commitment, but a system that struggles to flex.

Support that arrives too late.

Approaches that assume one size will fit all.

Decisions are made without fully understanding the child in front of you.

When systems don’t adapt to learners, the emotional cost is often borne quietly by children and their families.

Over time, this gap between policy intention and real-life experience can take its toll.

Confidence drops. Anxiety increases. Attendance becomes harder. Learning begins to feel unsafe or overwhelming.

Behind every policy is a learner and their lived experience matters.

For some families, this is the point at which trust begins to fracture. Not because they don’t value education, but because the system they are navigating no longer feels able to respond to their child’s needs.

This is often when families begin to explore alternatives. Home education. EOTAS. Alternative provision. These routes are rarely chosen lightly. More often, they are reached after long periods of trying to make school work, and feeling that it simply cannot adapt quickly or deeply enough.

This is not about blame. Schools, local authorities and professionals are working within increasingly complex pressures. Most people involved are doing their best for children and young people.

But it does raise an important question.

What happens when systems are designed around policy, rather than people?

At Love2Learn Education, we start from lived experience. We listen carefully to families, learners and professionals. We take time to understand how a child presents day to day, not just how they are described on paper.

We believe that when education feels safe, relational and responsive, progress becomes possible again. Confidence can be re built. Engagement can return. Learning can begin to feel achievable.

This blog series shares reflections from research and practice on SEND, alternative pathways and what genuinely helps learners re-engage. Our hope is that it supports thoughtful conversation, stronger collaboration and more responsive approaches, so that education can better fit the children and young people it is there to serve.